A THANKFUL HEART

It was a totally weird morning as usual lost in my thoughts hurrying to my new job of being    an ‘operations trainee’.  Sitting in the metro and enjoying the sudden drizzling in the morning, my mind started flowing down to the past.  While the beauty of nature with the pouring rain as always mesmerized me, there was a strange pain in my heart dwelling up from deep down as a strong question came up in my mind. In the past few days were an outpour of great blessings. My graduation,  new job and  surprisingly excellent marks every semester better than the previous one, my new responsibilities as a freelancer content writer and a role of teacher educating young minds spiritually and academically, I was more  happy with my new life. Sitting in the metro and even after having all these blessings and gifts, my peaceful harmony was becoming deafening with this question dwelling up in me.  Even after so many blessings, I was still feeling very empty and void.

It suddenly hit me so hard that every achievement of these past days was accepted by me without a word of thanks to the one who actually I owed these blessings from.  All these achievements and appreciation were never of mine own effort.  But they were a gift from the one who was there with me in the fight, the one who was leading me, the only person who was there with me when the grey clouds of darkness just trying to consume me.

It was none other than my Heavenly Daddy. One thing I realized that the more blessings came in, the farther I got from my Heavenly Daddy, from the love of my Daddy and from his presence.  My Daddy built me, constructed me and made me stand where I am today.  But every constructive bridge of blessing He gave me was turning to be a concrete wall between me and my Daddy.  For once I wished if  I  had none  of these  blessings I would have been happy with where I was, what I was, and what I had.  Because my brokenness was the only reason I used to come to my daddy.  For once I was so ashamed to know how selfish and shameless I was, a stupid sinner who could not even realize the mercy of the Heavenly Father.

Suddenly a sweet voice distracted me from my train of thoughts; it was a voice of peace, the voice of my Heavenly Daddy with his usually pouring grace, speaking to me saying   ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.’

My abrupt mind of sorrow found relief in my Daddy’s  words, now I   found pleasure in my infirmities because I know that the power of my Daddy rests upon me,   He'll use my weakness as his strength, and his mercy endures upon me forever.

As my destination slowly approached, with closed eyes and a tearful soul I said  to my Daddy, ‘let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight,  O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer’. Thank you for your mercy and love for your beloved.

(Jeny has done her B.Com Honours from Jesus & Mary College.)